Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I Feel So Much Better Now That I Know I'm Driving A Bugatti!
 Et Tu' Emile? So anyway, I'm in desperate need of my Bugatti fix and I see the happy little link to Jalopnik on my webby page. Then I discovered the horror of the above pic. It's the dash of a Bugatti Galibier and the damnable thing is having software errors! Sweet Mercy! There is no sanctity of the dashboard left! Read the article on Jalopnik yourself! They mention that the Top Gear magazine folks were putting the car through it's paces . My weekend in the lovely little vale of Bon Temps must have left me a bit more depleted than I thought. When I went in for blood tests this morning it took them 20 minutes to get blood from me. I'll have to wait and see what adjustments come next. Hopefully I can avoid the dreaded "blue screen of death". :) PS. Yes OMBH, I watched 3 minutes of JMTS and I had to turn it off before I foamed at the mouth. |
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sleepy Weekend Get Away
I spent the weekend in the sleepy little town of Bon Temps. I had a burger and a beer at Merlottes Bar & Grill. I watched the tight and timeless bartender Sam Merlotte walk back and forth in his tight blue jeans. I settled into the cool air conditioned darkness and watched the inhabitants of a tiny town go absolutely crazy.  Sam Merlotte working his "barkeep" vibe Sam and his tavern inhabit the HBO series "True Blood". Based on the series of "Sookie Stackhouse" novels by Charlaine Harris, "True Blood" tells the tale of a waitress named "Sookie" who can also read minds. In her universe vampires have "come out of the coffin" and joined mainstream society. Almost. Sam is Sookie's employer and pines away for her as she chases after vampires. In season one and two we see Sam turn into an English Setter, a fly, an owl, and a white Brahma bull. Sam has told Sookie that he's, "Tired of burning my ass off on your back burner." In Season 2 Sam found a shape shifting love of his own only to have her try and sacrifice him to Bacchus. What Season 3 holds for Sam I'll have to find out in June of 2011 when it comes out on DVD. Last weekend was free HBO preview weekend. I shuffled through the On Demand choices and the schedule. The only thing I really wanted to watch was True Blood. One 12 week series a year doesn't justify the 25 bucks a month for HBO. If I could go out to Amazon or ITunes and pay 10 bucks and episode during the broad cast season, I would. But I'm not forking over 300 bucks in subscription fees. Season 2 just came out on DVD and I holed up in the house and watched all 12 episodes in 3 days. I was swirling my cranberry juice cocktail in a wine glass and feeling thoroughly wicked when that weekend was over! Last weekend I was able to catch the first 3 episodes of Season 3. I went as far as looking at the price of HBO and that was it. I have a nasty art hobby to support. Plus I think I'm putting my doctor's kids through private school. I have dependents to think about! Thinking of "dependents" I spent 3 hours with a lawyer last night drawing up living wills, advanced directives, powers of attourney, and a will. Going through all the various modes of slow demise for the medical directive was exhausting. Realizing that my estate won't be worth a postage stamp was demoralizing. Yesterday I sent off another tax return for mom. This one was revised and included a letter from the accountant. If the IRS doesn't back off, I don't know what to do. I'm worn out with death, doom, and dispair. I've been physically ill again from all this craziness. It's amazing how much actualy physical damage years of stress have done to me. Tomorrow I go back for blood tests to see what blood chemistry gets adjusted next. I'm better than I was 3 months ago. I'm still not where I'd like to be. It's all up in the air. Like Sam Merlotte, I'm shifting from one form to another. |
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Sid the Cussing Bunny! Go Sid! Go Craig!
  Reminding Americans It's Ok To Be American! On Tuesday night's Craig Ferguson show, both Sid and Craig were forced to apologize for their wily late night ways. Somebody doesn't like the bleeped out cussing of the cohorts. (Since it's beeped how do we know they're really cussing anyway? Doesn't the "listener" fill in the words bleeped with their own imaginations?) I wonder if those same "offended" people go out of the house everyday wearing noise blocking headphones so that they can't hear the cursing music coming out cars on every street. They certainly don't watch Comedy Central and they must not listen to radio. What are those people doing with a television set at all? Thank God Craig & Sid took a stand! They're on a late night show and the swearing is bleeped! Get a grip! This is still America and we are still allowed to run our mouths. Despite the societal push towards unified zombie like acceptance of all delivered opinions and behaviors, Craig & Sid push on for the right to have a differing opinion and to speak their minds. Granted Sid is a puppet operated by a 48 year old man. It's much better that "Sid" be a voice of defiance on late night TV than hanging out in a van outside a schoolyard luring in toddlers! Let's make distinctions on what truly "inappropriate puppet use" is. I'm the descendant of Scottish immigrants. (Look up The Clearances for info on that fun practice.) I'm glad to see Craig come join us as an American. If immigration is a game of "Red Rover", I'm glad we got Craigy to come over. I'm so mad at the idea of people complaining about a puppet saying bleeped out words that I can't even express myself well. Freedom of speech includes 48 year old talk show hosts with puppets. It includes off beat ideas. It includes cussing bunnies. It includes adults having adult oriented programming. The idea that America has to be child proofed and sanitized from sea to shining sea plucks my last reserve nerve! Since I am an American and I love America I'm going throw my opinion into the pile. I'm also going to vote with my consumer dollars with advertisers on the show. I'd better play back last night's episode and start contacting sponsors to let them know how much I appreciate them bringing me Craig & Sid! After all, that's the American way! :) |
Somewhere Over the Rainbow???
 Run Toto! It's James May! Down the root cellar Auntie Em! There ain't no avoidin' it! James May is taking over the American airwaves on Sunday! Yes, that's right, Sunday! BBC America is launching an assault on Sunday night television with a "Top Gear James May's Best Bits" extravaganza. (OMBH I'm not sure what "bits" they're showing but to be safe get the kids out of the house!) I must accept it. I must sigh and say to myself. "Yes James May does have more fun than I do. I will stop struggling and be assimilated." I must turn on the television and watch haplessly, admitting that I do want to see what that fruitcake is up to. It's like watching a flaming bus wreck crash into an animal shelter. I think there is something I should do but I can't look away and can not run. Sigh.  Please Mr. Cyberman, don't kill us all! OMBH, Sid the Cussing Bunny will be here when you arrive this weekend. We shall feast on popcorn and a selection of cold beer & ale. There's even some Ace pear cider for the combo sugar & alcohol buzz! Signed, "Can't Look Away in MD" |
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
AutoCross
| I've takend the first step on becoming an "Autocrosser"! There is a "local" sports car club that hosts autocross events open to novice drivers. This weekend I'm going to attend an event as a spectator. If it still continues to look like "serious fun" afterwards, it will be onwards to getting a "novice class". The same group is also having "performance driving" classes in July. Both of these things I can do "now" with the Caddy. The only thing I need to do is to get a Snell approved helmet and take all the junk out of the console. I've still got my eyes on a 2 day Skip Barber class at Lime Rock Park in 2011. Today I started eyeing a muscle car to have some fun with. Something used and something drool worthy. Something I can play with instead of the daily driver. Or maybe something I can drive when the daily driver is in for repairs. (It's been recalled again.)  Fast, Fun, & Highly Desireable! |
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Top Gear's James May has "sensitive testicles"
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Emergency Call to OMBH!!!!
 Okay since the Tuxedo Inn does not have a bat signal, this will have to do! Some moron at BBC America has scheduled the "Toy Thing" done by "The Bloke Who Must Not Be Named" for airing in June! I'm calling on you to save my flat panel television before I shove a chair leg through it! Help! Oh Help Me! You know how I get when "that person" has more fun than I do!!!! And you KNOW I don't always have the strength to look away! There's nothing for it but that I'll need a "minder" through the whole ordeal! You'll just have to move into the guest room for the better part of the next month. I know it's a sacrifice but you'll have to shop all day, go to the drive ins every weekend, and test drive cars the rest of the time. But you KNOW I'd do the same for you! I've appealed to the Love Monkey and he has said I should DVR the show and then he can watch it when he's on hand. He says he will stop me from destroying the television, but I have my doubts! My pet clone/android "HR" has suggested that we go out to where they are rebuilding the "new" garages and play with matches while the show is on. But somehow I doubt that will help anything! I think he's trying to lead me astray and we all know what happened the last time he did! (Replacement spine for him from the robotics factory!) Perhaps I can write for help to "Sid" the cussing bunny from North London. Sid is currently residing on the Craig Ferguson show. He'll tell that nasty old creature from Hammersmith what to do with it!  I'm Sid from North London. I'm a bunny and I cuss! It's my thing! |
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Yep, Axis tilted or not, the world seems to be spinning along. . . .
First things first. If you want to have some fun try using the search engine "Bing" and search for images of "James May". You will be amazed at the things that thing thinks are "James May". The closest pic was of "Brian May" from "Queen". Granted Jeremy Clarkson would likely say James May is a "Queen". But he'd know. The following is for OMBH, because somebody needs to get a giggle.    Bing's big ideas all on one page. Left: James May television presenter. Center: James May Civil War soldier from the 5th West VA Calvary, Company D Right: "The Flower Girl" painted by a James May in 1900 and for sale for 600$ U.S. At least there were no photographs or sketches of the infamous 19th century London "resurectionist" James May. He was brought to trial and hanged for trafficking in "snatched" bodies. Somebody mailed a reproduction Faberge Egg to somebody at the Peach Tree Federal building and spawned an evacuation and bomb scare. Some damn fool let their teenage daughter try to sail around the world alone and now she's missing in the ocean. (Can we please put those parents on trial for child abuse?) The government and political pundits are saying that it is too costly and doesn't produce any results to take oil soaked pelicans out of the gulf and clean them off. Their take is we should just shoot the birds. (Can we thin the pundit flock a bit first?) Last night I came home to find a 10,000$ income tax bill in the mail box. It is of course for tax year 2008 and it is for someone who has been dead a year and a half. Since I was entangled with the estate I'm now hiring a CPA to fix the mess. My central nervous system really can't stand any more stress. It can't. I don't consider myself a "weak sister" or a "Petite Fleur" but last night I read that notice and went straight into "barf" mode. It's tough enough to be making out my own will and advanced medical directive. To have the never ending paperwork from hell come back for a return performance just set me off balance. The state tried to come after me last year for an erroneous state tax bill for the deceased. I won't say what I did to get the state tax bill for the deceased straightened out but it stopped just sort of some type of kneeling in an alley and unzipping things action. Tomorrow afternoon is a break from work. I'm taking a craft class in the afternoon. I work in the evening but I get to get crafty first! If the class turns out well, I'll post some pics. It's 3D assemblage and building a thingy with a lid. |
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Gentlemen, start your squirrels!
 Lambo Gallado Spyder W/ Guest Another weekend pumped down the drain. We were doing disaster recovery drills. Our originally scheduled start time was 3 a.m. on Sunday. Saturday they announced we would get the system at 6 p.m. Saturday night instead. At 4 p.m. they said we'd get the system at 9 p.m. Then they switched to midnight. I turned in for a nap and when I awoke at 10 p.m. they were ready to let us start. Nothing like reading hex dumps and doing hexadecimal math when your brain is fogged over and everyone is hopping up and down like Zulus doing a war dance. Needless to say there were some backup tapes that weren't any good. There were a few typos. There was some flaming squirrel action. It was 3 a.m. when I ambled out into the night. I discovered that the birds are awake at that hour! They are cranking up for morning before the sky starts to lighten. By the time I arrived home and staggered to bed it was close to 5 a.m. Despite my best intentions I still slept until 3 p.m. That meant I didn't sleep worth a rats buttocks on Sunday night and by Monday morning I didn't know who I was. I staggered back into the world Monday afternoon at 1:30 p.m. Today I'm still feeling a little "wobbly". Sigh. No more all night partying for me! Once again this weekend the Clone Boys went off unsupervised. Unfortunately they got ahold of a Lambo. Somewhere in their programming somebody forgot to put in that you pass a car on the left or on the right. You do not try and drive over or under another vehicle. Below is a pic of the ensuing mayhem. The boys are mum on which was driving at the time the mishap occurred.  No this is not an "underpass"! The elusive "Yellow Lambo" was at the car wash getting detailed a few weeks ago. While my car was going through the wash I wandered over and took an oogle at it. The guys doing the wax smiled at me. The guy who drives the cars out of the wash line said he personally didn't like the Lambo because it was an asinine color. Asinine color or not I'd probably drive that thing with the top down and wearing nothing but a good pair of driving shoes and dare people to take pictures! A nice 6 point Sabelt harness would cover more than most girl's bathing suits anyway.  Here "MJ" clone models the Official Flaming Squirrel Driving Club Motoring Costume But does it "Lift & Separate?" . Is there truly "No visible means of support?" Is this the next step in the "Lite & Breezy, Easy Peezy" wardrobe? |
Friday, June 04, 2010
Friday, Friday, Friday
| How am I supposed to get chuffed about a weekend when I know I have to be back at work at 3 a.m. on Sunday morning? It ruins Saturday because I've got to hit the hay early or get no sleep. It ruins Sunday because I'll be up in the middle of the night. This has seriously impacted my feelings for this job. Right now my morale is somewhere around: IDGAFRA  IDGAFRA! |
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Royal Order of the Flaming Squirrel
 May in a Maybach |
Why the Tuxedo Inn will never have dancers. . . .
| Another clip from True Blood. Vampires Eric & Pam interview dancers for their club "FangTasia" |
Sam Gets Even
| Sam the shape shifter takes his revenge on the accouterments of Maryann the Maenad. Clip from HBO |
Alton Has Eaten The Shark
 Alton Brown Channeling Orvile Reddenbacher The pic above is proof positive that Alton's wife doesn't love him anymore. Or at least it sure seems that way. Alton's wife used to buy him funky and fabulous old bowling shirts and cool looking things to wear on his "Good Eats" show. Now somebody has let him out of the house in a poorly fitting pink dress shirt, a navy blue bow tie with foxes printed on it, and hideous suit. I knew it was coming. No show you really love stays your favorite forever. Things run their course. It happens. How many cooking shows can you really do in a series? Alton works his keester off coming up with new and novel things to teach us about. He's the first television cook I've ever seen actually show the views "how" to use a knife to maximize utility. (No I don't have any of the AB branded knives. I have a hand me down 5 inch chef's knife. I use it for everything. I take it to the fabric store and get it sharpened along with my sewing scissors.) Alton has traveled and done motorbike and sailing food shows. He's been a showman and an entertainer. This year he went on a diet. Good for him. Nice for him to be healthy. But then Alton roasted the shark and took a big old bite right on camera. Alton, did an episode on his 'diet'. There is no proselytizer like a newly redeemed soul. Alton jumped up on the stump and had a combo old-time-revival and bitchfest. I turned the channel and I've never turned back. Today I find "AB" on a humor blog site contributing cash and doing an interview. I also see one of his most steadfast fan sites saying he refused them an interview because he (allegedly) said "Bloggers have no integrity." That left one very broken hearted fan blogger. I know, celebrities can't win when it comes to relating to the public. But you hate to see somebody, who put up such a nice blog about AB and who stood in line to meet him so many times, wind up with a broken heart. Today I also discover that AB is hosting a website for Diamond Crystals salt. AB did a 1 hour special on salt that was fantastic. He went over the differences in sea salts, salt mines, and types of salt. He is the original TV proponent of Kosher Salt used straight out of a lidded salt cellar. It makes perfect sense that AB would host a web site called SALT101. They've even made the corporate branding on the site so small that it is unobtrusive. AB greats the website viewer in 1 on 1 video and talks about cooking and science. The problem is that Alton shows up on screen looking like an escapee from a bad Ken Doll fashion show. Brown shoes, black checked suit with elbow patches on the jacket, bilious pink shirt with the cuffs all tangled up in the jacket sleeves, and a navy blue bow tie with foxes printed on it. Instead of coming off "science guy" he comes off looking like he just escaped an institution. I know Mr. Brown can dress any way he likes and he can do what he likes with his money. I know his cookery books will stay in my kitchen because they contain technique that will steer me through preparing any cut of meat or type of food. (He's on the shelf with my trusty 1951 Betty Crocker Cookbook.) Alton Brown has been the educator that has enabled me to wander into a strange new world (aka the kitchen) and triumph over adversity (aka nobody ever taught me how to cook). However when it comes to watching him eat shark, I think I'll go ahead and change the channel. |