Thursday, July 29, 2010
No Shirt Sherlock
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Thursday, July 22, 2010
A lotta little heads. . .
 Doll molds made from "Mold & Pour" mold making media After I made my nifty molds I went digging into the craft stash for some polymer clay use in the molds. I found several bricks of vintage clay that I had thoughtfully written purchase dates on. It appears that I last bought clay in 2005. (It's been much longer than I thought since I've taken a clay class!) Amazingly some of the clay still softened up to a workable consistency. The result was a bevy of oddly colored little heads inhabinting my craft table. I have another batch in "teal" that came out of the oven. I think those are going to get "rusted". Then into the stash they go until the next collage project.  Inked, Distress Crackle Painted, and Natural my collection of conks, |
Monday, July 19, 2010
Seriously When Did I Get Sent to Hell?
| Today's hot entree in the work cafeteria was stewed goat. Goat. From the people who can't make a decent piece of baked chicken or a grilled cheese sandwich. They are saying that next week they will be serving Anaconda meat. Anthony Bourdain aside. This is a freakin' work cafeteria. There are 2 hot entrees if we are lucky. The sandwich line takes 30 minutes and lunch break is 30 minutes. To go out for lunch takes at least 1 hour if we run to the car and don't get in a line at the burger joint drive thru. I takes 30 minutes to get in and out of the building alone. We are a captive audience for the jerk who would be chef. Whether goat is yummy aside, why cant' we get a cook in the cafeteria who makes decent routine food that doesn't give everyone the runs? The chef asked if I wanted goat. I replied, "No I'm working so I don't have to eat goat, yard bird, squirrel, rabbit, raccoon, possum, chitterlings, trotters, muskrat, or roadkill." I stopped short of asking him why he didn't learn to make a simple grilled cheese sandwich and work outwards from there. This little nut zone gets a little stranger every day.  |
Friday, July 16, 2010
Earthquake? If you say so. . . .
| At 5 a.m. this morning an earthquake rumbled through the area. Or at least that's what the folks who monitor such things say. 5 a.m. is the time to be asleep. Sound asleep. Not up getting preened to go to a job you hate. Not up watching the talking heads bitch about the news. 5 a.m. is the time for tranquil sleep. The rats will still be racing when you get out there to join them at a more reasonable hour. People at work were talking about pictures rattling on walls and all sorts of hoodoo voodoo surrounding the quake. When they were marveling at the side effects of plate tectonics I was having an nightmare. For some reason my mother had escaped from the assisted living. She had taken the dog, my credit cards, and the car. She was putting the hammer down heading for her house in Florida. Wearing only shorts, Reeboks, and a sleeveless T-shirt she was driving a 1992 Ford Taurus through a blizzard down I95. I was trying to figure where she would stop for the night. I was calling the police and the credit card company. I was anticipating what mom would say when she found out I sold her house. An Earthquake was in no way as terrifying as mom finding out I sold her house. Nothing on the planet has ever struck me to be as terrifying as my family. I don't think anything ever will. |
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Under Re-Invention
 We're looking for new ideas. Pardon our lack of dust. The digital Tuxedo Inn is getting ignored a bit while we re-arrange the physical one. We're expanding out studio space and taking over an adjoining room. The craft table and chairs are in. The lighting still needs to be changed. The tool and supply storage is coming along nicely. If I can remember to put some batteries in the camera, I'll take some snaps of the new space. We previously had a 3 ft work, we now have a 6 ft table. We're also moving the artsy area out of the office. The office is already overloaded with book storage, computer equipment, the pinball machine, the exercise bike, and a recliner. Thanks for 3M and their 'anywhere' easy removal hanging system, a lot of completed projects that were stored are becoming artwork for the walls in the rest of the house. Of course there is also a great deal of stuff that needs to leave the premises. I hope I can convince the organizer to come and spend some quality time with me soon. We need to amass copious numbers of industrial trash bags, turn on some serious funk music, and do the "throw out dance" for several hours. |
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Calling, Calling, Calling . . . .
| Don't know if it's the record breaking summer heat. Don't know if it's the color of the sky or the taste of summer cherries. Don't know if it's memory taking another lap through the loop. Don't know if it's meclazine, sudafed, or caffeine. I just know the calling is back. I can describe it but I can't define it. I suppose everyone has their turns with it. The best word for it is "calling". Sometimes it's been the urge to go to Savannah for a weekend. Sometimes it's been the urge to go to Edinburgh and wander up the hill from the train station to find a place I'd never been but I remembered clearly. Sometimes it's been the "traveler" from the "blue room" who appears in my dreams then disappears for months at a time. Sometimes, this time, it is the dream of a white sand beach, cyan blue ocean, the horizon uncluttered, and the ruffle of beach umbrellas in the breeze. I want to tan my toes and spend my days renting out beach umbrellas and sand chairs. I feel the great propensity to stare at the horizon until my head empties out. I want to stretch out in the salt water and feel the ocean subsume me back into myself. When I was younger I felt the ocean calling incessantly. I felt the lure of remote islands calling me away. I wanted to crew on a boat or rent beach umbrellas. I wanted anything but an office job. I took the office job. It's worn away at me as sure as the tide wears away at stones. I am weathered, curled, changed, unrecognizable. I am ready to go back to being empty, except for the sound of the ocean coming in and going out. |
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Bali Hai
There is a soft Broadway tune lulling itself around in my head this afternoon, "Bali Hai". The airport is recording a temperature of 105 degrees Fahrenheit. I've been on Meclazine for vertigo for three days. I am reverting to my surf rat ways. For almost twenty years I lived on a tiny island between a bay and an ocean. There was only one tree on my block. Everything was paved right up to the beach. I had not grass or woods, but I had the thundering Atlantic and I've never really felt at home since I moved away. On vicious summer days I feel the pull to go back.  A beach town postcard from 1979. On a post card one beach town is much like another, but in memory each is different, each is perfect. I want to slink into the shadows of the house. I want to snooze until dusk behind light blocking shades. Then I want to rise and walk along the surf as the cooling sand and water generate a haze. I'd find a place along a dune side, hollow out a back rest, and settle into the sand to watch the moon rise over the water. July moon, larger than a city block, peach colored, and speckled with grey. I'd relax into the nightfall. I'd wait for him to come walking along the sand. He'd come ambling along with a six pack of beer in a paper sack and he'd dive down onto the sand beside me. The charter boats would buzz by on their way up to coast with deck loads of tourists looking at the city lights. When the wind would flick around to the east and the south the sounds of the rides and bars on the boardwalk would argue with the smack and hiss of the surf. We'd sit there in amiable silence 'til no one noticed us there anymore. Then we'd run into the water and dive into the waves just past the low sandbar. So used to the feel of "our beach" beneath our feet, we'd swim and dive and find each others arms in the cool deserted ocean. I'd feel my fingers again in that hair as black as night. I'd have one more chance to look into the eyes I remember being as blue as a January sky. I'd feel that electric, insane young love sizzle its way into every nerve. I'd say a name I don't have the right to say anymore. Perhaps I'd say that I was sorry for the way we were going to turn out. Maybe instead, I'd stay poised in that moment forever, looping through eternity as a ghost no one could see. Perhaps I'd join him then, in our moment by the sea, my long lost love, so many years in the grave. See how he comes back to me at the most unexpected moments? When the sun is baking the earth and I feel a dry old husk. I carry him, like a bad luck charm, a sacrosanct secret, to my grave. |
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I Feel So Much Better Now That I Know I'm Driving A Bugatti!
 Et Tu' Emile? So anyway, I'm in desperate need of my Bugatti fix and I see the happy little link to Jalopnik on my webby page. Then I discovered the horror of the above pic. It's the dash of a Bugatti Galibier and the damnable thing is having software errors! Sweet Mercy! There is no sanctity of the dashboard left! Read the article on Jalopnik yourself! They mention that the Top Gear magazine folks were putting the car through it's paces . My weekend in the lovely little vale of Bon Temps must have left me a bit more depleted than I thought. When I went in for blood tests this morning it took them 20 minutes to get blood from me. I'll have to wait and see what adjustments come next. Hopefully I can avoid the dreaded "blue screen of death". :) PS. Yes OMBH, I watched 3 minutes of JMTS and I had to turn it off before I foamed at the mouth. |
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sleepy Weekend Get Away
I spent the weekend in the sleepy little town of Bon Temps. I had a burger and a beer at Merlottes Bar & Grill. I watched the tight and timeless bartender Sam Merlotte walk back and forth in his tight blue jeans. I settled into the cool air conditioned darkness and watched the inhabitants of a tiny town go absolutely crazy.  Sam Merlotte working his "barkeep" vibe Sam and his tavern inhabit the HBO series "True Blood". Based on the series of "Sookie Stackhouse" novels by Charlaine Harris, "True Blood" tells the tale of a waitress named "Sookie" who can also read minds. In her universe vampires have "come out of the coffin" and joined mainstream society. Almost. Sam is Sookie's employer and pines away for her as she chases after vampires. In season one and two we see Sam turn into an English Setter, a fly, an owl, and a white Brahma bull. Sam has told Sookie that he's, "Tired of burning my ass off on your back burner." In Season 2 Sam found a shape shifting love of his own only to have her try and sacrifice him to Bacchus. What Season 3 holds for Sam I'll have to find out in June of 2011 when it comes out on DVD. Last weekend was free HBO preview weekend. I shuffled through the On Demand choices and the schedule. The only thing I really wanted to watch was True Blood. One 12 week series a year doesn't justify the 25 bucks a month for HBO. If I could go out to Amazon or ITunes and pay 10 bucks and episode during the broad cast season, I would. But I'm not forking over 300 bucks in subscription fees. Season 2 just came out on DVD and I holed up in the house and watched all 12 episodes in 3 days. I was swirling my cranberry juice cocktail in a wine glass and feeling thoroughly wicked when that weekend was over! Last weekend I was able to catch the first 3 episodes of Season 3. I went as far as looking at the price of HBO and that was it. I have a nasty art hobby to support. Plus I think I'm putting my doctor's kids through private school. I have dependents to think about! Thinking of "dependents" I spent 3 hours with a lawyer last night drawing up living wills, advanced directives, powers of attourney, and a will. Going through all the various modes of slow demise for the medical directive was exhausting. Realizing that my estate won't be worth a postage stamp was demoralizing. Yesterday I sent off another tax return for mom. This one was revised and included a letter from the accountant. If the IRS doesn't back off, I don't know what to do. I'm worn out with death, doom, and dispair. I've been physically ill again from all this craziness. It's amazing how much actualy physical damage years of stress have done to me. Tomorrow I go back for blood tests to see what blood chemistry gets adjusted next. I'm better than I was 3 months ago. I'm still not where I'd like to be. It's all up in the air. Like Sam Merlotte, I'm shifting from one form to another. |
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Sid the Cussing Bunny! Go Sid! Go Craig!
  Reminding Americans It's Ok To Be American! On Tuesday night's Craig Ferguson show, both Sid and Craig were forced to apologize for their wily late night ways. Somebody doesn't like the bleeped out cussing of the cohorts. (Since it's beeped how do we know they're really cussing anyway? Doesn't the "listener" fill in the words bleeped with their own imaginations?) I wonder if those same "offended" people go out of the house everyday wearing noise blocking headphones so that they can't hear the cursing music coming out cars on every street. They certainly don't watch Comedy Central and they must not listen to radio. What are those people doing with a television set at all? Thank God Craig & Sid took a stand! They're on a late night show and the swearing is bleeped! Get a grip! This is still America and we are still allowed to run our mouths. Despite the societal push towards unified zombie like acceptance of all delivered opinions and behaviors, Craig & Sid push on for the right to have a differing opinion and to speak their minds. Granted Sid is a puppet operated by a 48 year old man. It's much better that "Sid" be a voice of defiance on late night TV than hanging out in a van outside a schoolyard luring in toddlers! Let's make distinctions on what truly "inappropriate puppet use" is. I'm the descendant of Scottish immigrants. (Look up The Clearances for info on that fun practice.) I'm glad to see Craig come join us as an American. If immigration is a game of "Red Rover", I'm glad we got Craigy to come over. I'm so mad at the idea of people complaining about a puppet saying bleeped out words that I can't even express myself well. Freedom of speech includes 48 year old talk show hosts with puppets. It includes off beat ideas. It includes cussing bunnies. It includes adults having adult oriented programming. The idea that America has to be child proofed and sanitized from sea to shining sea plucks my last reserve nerve! Since I am an American and I love America I'm going throw my opinion into the pile. I'm also going to vote with my consumer dollars with advertisers on the show. I'd better play back last night's episode and start contacting sponsors to let them know how much I appreciate them bringing me Craig & Sid! After all, that's the American way! :) |
Somewhere Over the Rainbow???
 Run Toto! It's James May! Down the root cellar Auntie Em! There ain't no avoidin' it! James May is taking over the American airwaves on Sunday! Yes, that's right, Sunday! BBC America is launching an assault on Sunday night television with a "Top Gear James May's Best Bits" extravaganza. (OMBH I'm not sure what "bits" they're showing but to be safe get the kids out of the house!) I must accept it. I must sigh and say to myself. "Yes James May does have more fun than I do. I will stop struggling and be assimilated." I must turn on the television and watch haplessly, admitting that I do want to see what that fruitcake is up to. It's like watching a flaming bus wreck crash into an animal shelter. I think there is something I should do but I can't look away and can not run. Sigh.  Please Mr. Cyberman, don't kill us all! OMBH, Sid the Cussing Bunny will be here when you arrive this weekend. We shall feast on popcorn and a selection of cold beer & ale. There's even some Ace pear cider for the combo sugar & alcohol buzz! Signed, "Can't Look Away in MD" |
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
AutoCross
| I've takend the first step on becoming an "Autocrosser"! There is a "local" sports car club that hosts autocross events open to novice drivers. This weekend I'm going to attend an event as a spectator. If it still continues to look like "serious fun" afterwards, it will be onwards to getting a "novice class". The same group is also having "performance driving" classes in July. Both of these things I can do "now" with the Caddy. The only thing I need to do is to get a Snell approved helmet and take all the junk out of the console. I've still got my eyes on a 2 day Skip Barber class at Lime Rock Park in 2011. Today I started eyeing a muscle car to have some fun with. Something used and something drool worthy. Something I can play with instead of the daily driver. Or maybe something I can drive when the daily driver is in for repairs. (It's been recalled again.)  Fast, Fun, & Highly Desireable! |
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Top Gear's James May has "sensitive testicles"
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Emergency Call to OMBH!!!!
 Okay since the Tuxedo Inn does not have a bat signal, this will have to do! Some moron at BBC America has scheduled the "Toy Thing" done by "The Bloke Who Must Not Be Named" for airing in June! I'm calling on you to save my flat panel television before I shove a chair leg through it! Help! Oh Help Me! You know how I get when "that person" has more fun than I do!!!! And you KNOW I don't always have the strength to look away! There's nothing for it but that I'll need a "minder" through the whole ordeal! You'll just have to move into the guest room for the better part of the next month. I know it's a sacrifice but you'll have to shop all day, go to the drive ins every weekend, and test drive cars the rest of the time. But you KNOW I'd do the same for you! I've appealed to the Love Monkey and he has said I should DVR the show and then he can watch it when he's on hand. He says he will stop me from destroying the television, but I have my doubts! My pet clone/android "HR" has suggested that we go out to where they are rebuilding the "new" garages and play with matches while the show is on. But somehow I doubt that will help anything! I think he's trying to lead me astray and we all know what happened the last time he did! (Replacement spine for him from the robotics factory!) Perhaps I can write for help to "Sid" the cussing bunny from North London. Sid is currently residing on the Craig Ferguson show. He'll tell that nasty old creature from Hammersmith what to do with it!  I'm Sid from North London. I'm a bunny and I cuss! It's my thing! |
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Yep, Axis tilted or not, the world seems to be spinning along. . . .
First things first. If you want to have some fun try using the search engine "Bing" and search for images of "James May". You will be amazed at the things that thing thinks are "James May". The closest pic was of "Brian May" from "Queen". Granted Jeremy Clarkson would likely say James May is a "Queen". But he'd know. The following is for OMBH, because somebody needs to get a giggle.    Bing's big ideas all on one page. Left: James May television presenter. Center: James May Civil War soldier from the 5th West VA Calvary, Company D Right: "The Flower Girl" painted by a James May in 1900 and for sale for 600$ U.S. At least there were no photographs or sketches of the infamous 19th century London "resurectionist" James May. He was brought to trial and hanged for trafficking in "snatched" bodies. Somebody mailed a reproduction Faberge Egg to somebody at the Peach Tree Federal building and spawned an evacuation and bomb scare. Some damn fool let their teenage daughter try to sail around the world alone and now she's missing in the ocean. (Can we please put those parents on trial for child abuse?) The government and political pundits are saying that it is too costly and doesn't produce any results to take oil soaked pelicans out of the gulf and clean them off. Their take is we should just shoot the birds. (Can we thin the pundit flock a bit first?) Last night I came home to find a 10,000$ income tax bill in the mail box. It is of course for tax year 2008 and it is for someone who has been dead a year and a half. Since I was entangled with the estate I'm now hiring a CPA to fix the mess. My central nervous system really can't stand any more stress. It can't. I don't consider myself a "weak sister" or a "Petite Fleur" but last night I read that notice and went straight into "barf" mode. It's tough enough to be making out my own will and advanced medical directive. To have the never ending paperwork from hell come back for a return performance just set me off balance. The state tried to come after me last year for an erroneous state tax bill for the deceased. I won't say what I did to get the state tax bill for the deceased straightened out but it stopped just sort of some type of kneeling in an alley and unzipping things action. Tomorrow afternoon is a break from work. I'm taking a craft class in the afternoon. I work in the evening but I get to get crafty first! If the class turns out well, I'll post some pics. It's 3D assemblage and building a thingy with a lid. |
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Gentlemen, start your squirrels!
 Lambo Gallado Spyder W/ Guest Another weekend pumped down the drain. We were doing disaster recovery drills. Our originally scheduled start time was 3 a.m. on Sunday. Saturday they announced we would get the system at 6 p.m. Saturday night instead. At 4 p.m. they said we'd get the system at 9 p.m. Then they switched to midnight. I turned in for a nap and when I awoke at 10 p.m. they were ready to let us start. Nothing like reading hex dumps and doing hexadecimal math when your brain is fogged over and everyone is hopping up and down like Zulus doing a war dance. Needless to say there were some backup tapes that weren't any good. There were a few typos. There was some flaming squirrel action. It was 3 a.m. when I ambled out into the night. I discovered that the birds are awake at that hour! They are cranking up for morning before the sky starts to lighten. By the time I arrived home and staggered to bed it was close to 5 a.m. Despite my best intentions I still slept until 3 p.m. That meant I didn't sleep worth a rats buttocks on Sunday night and by Monday morning I didn't know who I was. I staggered back into the world Monday afternoon at 1:30 p.m. Today I'm still feeling a little "wobbly". Sigh. No more all night partying for me! Once again this weekend the Clone Boys went off unsupervised. Unfortunately they got ahold of a Lambo. Somewhere in their programming somebody forgot to put in that you pass a car on the left or on the right. You do not try and drive over or under another vehicle. Below is a pic of the ensuing mayhem. The boys are mum on which was driving at the time the mishap occurred.  No this is not an "underpass"! The elusive "Yellow Lambo" was at the car wash getting detailed a few weeks ago. While my car was going through the wash I wandered over and took an oogle at it. The guys doing the wax smiled at me. The guy who drives the cars out of the wash line said he personally didn't like the Lambo because it was an asinine color. Asinine color or not I'd probably drive that thing with the top down and wearing nothing but a good pair of driving shoes and dare people to take pictures! A nice 6 point Sabelt harness would cover more than most girl's bathing suits anyway.  Here "MJ" clone models the Official Flaming Squirrel Driving Club Motoring Costume But does it "Lift & Separate?" . Is there truly "No visible means of support?" Is this the next step in the "Lite & Breezy, Easy Peezy" wardrobe? |
Friday, June 04, 2010
Friday, Friday, Friday
| How am I supposed to get chuffed about a weekend when I know I have to be back at work at 3 a.m. on Sunday morning? It ruins Saturday because I've got to hit the hay early or get no sleep. It ruins Sunday because I'll be up in the middle of the night. This has seriously impacted my feelings for this job. Right now my morale is somewhere around: IDGAFRA  IDGAFRA! |
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Royal Order of the Flaming Squirrel
 May in a Maybach |
Why the Tuxedo Inn will never have dancers. . . .
| Another clip from True Blood. Vampires Eric & Pam interview dancers for their club "FangTasia" |
Sam Gets Even
| Sam the shape shifter takes his revenge on the accouterments of Maryann the Maenad. Clip from HBO |
Alton Has Eaten The Shark
 Alton Brown Channeling Orvile Reddenbacher The pic above is proof positive that Alton's wife doesn't love him anymore. Or at least it sure seems that way. Alton's wife used to buy him funky and fabulous old bowling shirts and cool looking things to wear on his "Good Eats" show. Now somebody has let him out of the house in a poorly fitting pink dress shirt, a navy blue bow tie with foxes printed on it, and hideous suit. I knew it was coming. No show you really love stays your favorite forever. Things run their course. It happens. How many cooking shows can you really do in a series? Alton works his keester off coming up with new and novel things to teach us about. He's the first television cook I've ever seen actually show the views "how" to use a knife to maximize utility. (No I don't have any of the AB branded knives. I have a hand me down 5 inch chef's knife. I use it for everything. I take it to the fabric store and get it sharpened along with my sewing scissors.) Alton has traveled and done motorbike and sailing food shows. He's been a showman and an entertainer. This year he went on a diet. Good for him. Nice for him to be healthy. But then Alton roasted the shark and took a big old bite right on camera. Alton, did an episode on his 'diet'. There is no proselytizer like a newly redeemed soul. Alton jumped up on the stump and had a combo old-time-revival and bitchfest. I turned the channel and I've never turned back. Today I find "AB" on a humor blog site contributing cash and doing an interview. I also see one of his most steadfast fan sites saying he refused them an interview because he (allegedly) said "Bloggers have no integrity." That left one very broken hearted fan blogger. I know, celebrities can't win when it comes to relating to the public. But you hate to see somebody, who put up such a nice blog about AB and who stood in line to meet him so many times, wind up with a broken heart. Today I also discover that AB is hosting a website for Diamond Crystals salt. AB did a 1 hour special on salt that was fantastic. He went over the differences in sea salts, salt mines, and types of salt. He is the original TV proponent of Kosher Salt used straight out of a lidded salt cellar. It makes perfect sense that AB would host a web site called SALT101. They've even made the corporate branding on the site so small that it is unobtrusive. AB greats the website viewer in 1 on 1 video and talks about cooking and science. The problem is that Alton shows up on screen looking like an escapee from a bad Ken Doll fashion show. Brown shoes, black checked suit with elbow patches on the jacket, bilious pink shirt with the cuffs all tangled up in the jacket sleeves, and a navy blue bow tie with foxes printed on it. Instead of coming off "science guy" he comes off looking like he just escaped an institution. I know Mr. Brown can dress any way he likes and he can do what he likes with his money. I know his cookery books will stay in my kitchen because they contain technique that will steer me through preparing any cut of meat or type of food. (He's on the shelf with my trusty 1951 Betty Crocker Cookbook.) Alton Brown has been the educator that has enabled me to wander into a strange new world (aka the kitchen) and triumph over adversity (aka nobody ever taught me how to cook). However when it comes to watching him eat shark, I think I'll go ahead and change the channel. |
Monday, May 31, 2010
True Blood Thirsty
 Sam Trammel as Sam Merlotte As the 3 day weekend draws to a close, I'm shaking off a three day video binge. The second season of True Blood came out on DVD last week and arrived plunk in my mailbox on Friday. I've spent the last two days watching all 12 episodes of the True Blood saga. Maenads run amok. Vampires being petty. An entire town taking a head trip and having an orgy. Sam the shape shifter turning into a dog, a bull, and a housefly. Shape shifter Sam spending a lot of time in human form running around buck naked. Late Friday afternoon work announced a "special" meeting extra early on Monday morning. So now all I can do is worry about getting in 1/2 hour early to be on time. That's almost guaranteed to keep me awake all night. I woke up worrying about it this morning! Yikes. Right now though I'm groovin' to some nasty club music from the True Blood Season 2 Sound Track. I'm also playing with new Tim Holtz embossing dies for the Sizzix machine. I believe the NCIS marathon is still on so that I have LJ Gibbs to lull me to sleep. Party on party creatures! |
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Gratuitous Squirrel
 Alternate Garage Design #1  Alternate Garage Design #2 With the top design there would be 2 separate buildings built on opposite sides of the Tuxedo In car park. Steel shingles are being eyed for roofing. County "green laws" are playing havoc with plans to trim overhanging trees off. Luckily the fire burned a lot of limbs back out of the way.  Meanwhile "HR" and "MJ" have started a project Meanwhile back at the Tuxedo Inn, the quiet holiday weekend is still on schedule. Iskabibel, our barman and short order cook, will be manning the outside bar and grill. (Weather Permitting) He's created a special cocktail for the occasion. The drink is called "The Secret Storm". It's a lovely shade of blue and is served flaming. I haven't tried one yet but I suspect it may be leathal. The Bengies Drive-In has scheduled their Dusk-to-Dawn shows for this weekend. They're showing Shrek, Robin Hood, The Loosers, and Shutter Island. Love Monkey and I went to see Shrek & Iron Man last week. Everything ran so late we left before Iron Man started. I guess sitting in a hot steamed up car in the rain at a drive in loses some of its charm when you are over 20 and have the option of going home to an air conditioned house with a big comfy bed! |
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Squirrel On the Run . . . .
Well the fire marshall has come and gone at the Tuxedo Inn. The garage fire has been ruled the result of a lightning strike. The lawyers and insurance adjusters are off wrangling in the woods. I'm ignoring the faint strains of banjo music wafting on the breeze. Meanwhile I have my suspicions about that lightning strike.  There have been some very sheepish looking droid/clones lurking about the place this morning.  In the lobby of the Tuxedo Inn this morning. Um, Guys sitting on your luggage doesn't hide it!   OMBH's MJ insisted he was needed at her side immediately and took off via motorbike this morning. Members are encouraged to submit design ideas to the club via email. All kidding aside, test results came back yesterday. I'm not that thrilled, but it will do. More meds. More time feeling like a retired crash test dummy. More trying to balance work with healing time. I've been a bit concerned about myself this week. Guess that makes all the foolishness with the garage easily laughed off! :) |
Monday, May 24, 2010
For whom the squirrel tolls. . . . .
 A private, invitation only, NCIS viewing party will be held in the tap room. Things are tense in NCIS land. Gibbs has gone across the border to Mexico wearing a Clint Eastwood costume. Abbey has to decide whether to reveal a stunning piece of evidence. Ducky is at loose ends. McGee is jealous of a latin lover closing in on Abbey. Ziva's "spidey sense" is tingling. The television gossip sites are saying this episode will change the lives of the characters forever. We'll see. They are fictional characters afterall. All I'm saying is a "shower scene" can change a lot of plot goofs. I've seen almost all seven seasons of NCIS in the last 10 weeks so I'm a bit overloaded with the characters right now. I really like the ensemble cast and the way they work together. A female former Mossad member. A Goth forensic scientist with a ray-of-sunshine personality. A retired cold war super spy looking Scotsman medical examiner. A computer geek who writes thriller novels on the side. A real life "Buzz Lightyear" prototype male agent with the morals of an alley cat. A team leader with a quiet calm, a cup of java, and a ready sniper rifle. What's not to like about the whole bunch? Seriously this has nothing to do with all the gloomy test results from the doc or the fact that I'm not feeling my perkiest. Nope, ignore that man behind the curtain! :) |
The Flaming Squirrel Strikes Back
 Tragedy struck the Flaming Squirrel Driver's Club last night. During a thunderstorm, lightning struck a tree near the new garage location. The bolt from the black ignited the tree and the flames quickly spread to the partially completed structure and burned it to the ground. By the time local fire company arrived the structure was completely engulfed in flames. Only quick thinking by "H.R." and "M.J" saved the entire wooded area around the Tuxedo Inn from going up in flames. The two gentlemen androids/clones used garden hoses to soak down nearby trees and mulch to stop the flames.  MJ & HR were un scathed by their firefighting adventure. Members should rest assured that the construction site was completely insured against calamity. Owing to several of our members being practicing lawyers our insurance policies were carefully worded so that lightning strikes are not to be counted as divine acts. (Meaning we'll get the cash to build again.) On the up side, this fire has shown us the pitfalls of our garage design. We will be working with architects and members to come up with a new layout that will minimize the risk of fire. |
Friday, May 21, 2010
Little squirrely Foo Foo running through the carpark. . . . .
 Leroy Jethro Gibbs During my long convalescence I've discovered that NCIS is on almost 24/7. Worse than that, I've gotten drawn into the show. Mark Harmon somehow turned yummy over the years. (Oh my.) Since today is Friday and it's 85 degrees outside all construction on the garage has stopped. My pet android "HR" has trundled off someplace and work is winding down. So in honor of the 5 hour NCIS marathon that will be on TV tonight while I doze here's a link to "Gibbs Rules" from an NCIS fansite. |
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Is that a squirrel in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
After reading OMBH's comment on the dire fate of the pre-fab garage purveyor in the last post, my pet clone/android "H.R." busied himself looking over the design and progress for the new garage. He wants to insure I don't put him out to "pasture" to sell pre-fab buildings. H.R. went about designing a painted stripe pattern to put down on the tarmac between the garages to aid in reversing into your garage bay. Because we had to fit the new garage structure between some mature trees, the design had to be compressed somewhat. This reduces the width of the tarmac between garages making it more difficult to line up to reverse into your garage bay. For those who prefer to reverse into their garages the stripes will serve as an aid. Once your car is between the color coded stripes for your bay you can reverse with confidence that you will not collide with the parking structure. H.R. says he created this system for those, who like himself, are "short arses" and can't see out the back windshield while reversing. H.R. also took to the Internet and got very enterprising when looking for garage outfitting ideas. He found the "Garage Mahal" company who builds luxe custom garage interiors. Below is a sample pic of their work.  A "Garage Mahal" company build H.R. asked whether or not the Tuxedo Inn would be adding 'chauffer's quaters' over the garages. Unfortunately the answer to that is "No". Members are reminded that their membership at The Tuxedo Inn affords them use of their member suite. Guests and staff may stay there. We will not be getting a residency occupation permit for the garage facilities. On a positive note, the terrace bar and grill will be opening this weekend. While the Tuxedo Inn will once again sponsor it's "Quiet & Romantic Weekend" package for Memorial Day weekend, the terrace bar will be open for drinks and a special brunch until 2 p.m. on Sunday. The Tuxedo Inn would also take this opportunity to remind its patrons that we will NEVER EVER have karaoke at the "Inn". We will also never have a "dude with a guitar wailing bad covers of Jimmy Buffet & James Taylor songs" either. You may plan your visit to the Tuxedo Inn with the knowledge that our buildings and grounds will be "yowling drunk" free. We're just perfect for a quiet weekend "away" and we're going to stay that way. |
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
As The Squirrel Burns
| Construction continues on the Flaming Squirrel Drivers Club members garage. The garage has been located on a separate bit of drive about 50 feet from the main building. A covered walkway will be built to keep members out of the weather. The first incarnation of the garage is slated to have 10 separate locking parking bays. The bays will be arranged in a "horseshoe" shape and a small club room will be constructed in the center of the "U" bend. All garage bays will be fitted with a workbench, overhead lighting, and basic electrical outlets. A used motor oil collection tank is being placed near the trash bins for the main building. Hazardous chemical storage is to be in a separate section of the garden shed now used to store weed killer. A lottery was held to assign parking bays to members. Our long time friend OMBH drew parking bay #1! It's good to see OMBH around the Tuxedo Inn again. The garage is being site built to blend with the architecture of the Tuxedo Inn. We had considered the reduced expense of using a prefabricated building but were not pleased with the options available. We found they clashed with the existing landscape and design . We also questioned their suitability for the purpose. At one point we were contacted by an Englishman who sent us a picture of a modular structure he was trying to give away. See Below:  Although the building would have been without cost, we would have had to pay for disassembly, shipping, and reassembly. We were also concerned that the zoning board would not give us approval for such an "unusual" structure. |
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Flame On
 This will not be the official drink! Being an adamant fan of "Leroy Jethro Gibbs" I also feel the need to ponder some FSDC "rules to live by". If memory serves his wife's rule #3 was "Never date a lumber jack." But I don't feel that applies here. I also think "rules" is way more authoratative than this club should be. I've decided instead of "by laws" we will having "serving suggestions". (Like all the pretty pictures on food packages!) Since life is a banquet and we're all eyeing the desert cart first, the fun and frolic of the "Flaming Squirrel Drivers Club" should be considred a sweet treat and not another opportunity to bash the "perfection" button. Flaming Squirrel Driver's Club Serving Suggestion # 1: This is for fun! Flaming Squirrel Driver's Club Serving Suggestion #2: What happens at the FSDC stays at the FSDC! Flaming Squirrel Driver's Club Serving Suggestion #3: While participating in FSDC events all members are considered to be their ideal size, weight, height and age. (Diet is a four letter word not acceptable at any FSDC event.) Flaming Squirrel Driver's Club Serving Suggestion #4: Any club member following the time honored tradition of accomodating male passengers in the trunk of their vehicle will be responsible for bringing their own restraints and gags. The club has discontinued supplying rope and handkerchiefs due to sanitation issues. Thank you and I look forward to sending you more club info as we progress! |